‘Tis the season to be… emotional… I guess. The hubster and I got our first real Christmas tree (early in the season) and garland with lights for the stairs. I got my Nativity scenes (gifts from Mom and Dad) out and the living room looks very nice. We got cats for Christmas! Yes, cats as in plural as in actually two of them as in Oreo and Rocco. But there’s still something missing. I thought when we got the tree that it was going to be a great one. It’s been good don’t take me wrong… I love being with the hubster and just hanging out the two of us… well, the four of us now. But last Christmas went down as one of the more fun of all. I miss my family and seeing the kids being all excited over the Holidays. I thought I was going to be able to fill some of that void with house projects like making, baking, knitting, blogging, decorating… all the -ings that one does during this time. But I’ve caught myself not doing much and only thinking about wanting to go home and that I have a home now with the hubster and I want too many things in my life that conflict with each other and it becomes quite a struggle to prioritize and be happy and merry and all that stuff. I know the problem is the thinking… too much of it becomes inertia… somehow it drains all your energy and renders you, well, kind of useless, really. It’s not that I want to be somebody that I’m not but I read other people’s blogs and I’m amazed of all the creative things they do and I can’t help myself but feel a little disappointed and wish I had just a little more will to do things and unleash my creative power. I’m just a bag of mixed feelings… I think it will pass after the Holidays.
