The hubster said to me the other day (after one of my long ramblings about my life) that I was trying to find myself. I guess he’s right. I think I have a sense of my personality and the person I want to be. I don’t know where exactly I am right now, though. Therefore, I am not sure where I am going. I get anxious when I don’t have a plan or at least have an idea. Maybe it’s a control issue… maybe it’s phobia of failing…. maybe I’m guilty of seeing the success of other people and wanting it… maybe I’m overseeing something… maybe it’s not my time… maybe… maybe… maybe. I’m very conflicted. I’m sure this is making it worse, you know. Having this mess of thoughts inside my head all the time is really sucking up my happiness and peace. What to do? What to do?
Chocolate. Lots of it. It usually helps.
I have been thinking. All of us are really smart people. All of us are really driven people. All of us are really awesome people. All of us are quite brilliant (and good looking too, btw). How come most of us (ur hubbie and Kats are the only ones with real jobs if u think about it) have no effing clue where are we or what r we doing???
I think it has to do with how smart, driven, awesome, brilliant (and good looking too) we are.
Or maybe it has to do with the fact that we belong to a generation that was told that “we can be ANYTHING we want” and, faced with so many and endless possibilities, have gotten quite lost coming out of the door towards our adulthood; making a choice amongst so many options.
Or maybe we all watched too much Dawson’s Creek and got stuck with all the angst.